The truth about Stonehenge.

There are a lot of theories about why Stonehenge was built. These theories, of course, are all wrong. That is to be expected. After all, human beings are only human. Most theories (again: of course) are made up out of the following ingredients: “positive energy”, “astral vibrations”, “space ships” and Mayas, in amounts that vary according to taste, age and hairlength.

The real explanation however, is that Stonehenge was a huge clock. What is left is the circle of huge rocks marking the minutes and hours. What´s gone are the big arrow and the small arrow, both made out of – and this might surprise you – huge rocks which were lying on the ground, with one end in the centre of the ring and the other end pointing to the foot of a upright rock that would indicate the minute or the hour.

Every minute, a group of slaves would lift up the outer end of the big arrow and slowly gyrate it to make it point to the next minute. Not an easy task. As a matter of fact, it was so hard that they hardly ever managed to do it in the time necesary (i.e. one minute) and hence before even getting there they already had to move it to the next one. They never had time for a teabreak. Let alone lunch.

The guys who had to move the small arrow had it a lot easier: the arrow was smaller and a lot less heavy, and they had an hour to move it over an distance equal to the one which the other group of slaves had only 5 minutes for. The most difficult moments were obviously when one arrrow had to pass the other arrow, and I leave it as an exercise to the reader to calculate how many times per day this happened.

Hence, it wasn´t surprising that in the end someone started to think about whether the whole thing made any sense. He found out that it didn´t. And this was because the only way one could actually look at the clock would be from the sky. And since, in that age, airplanes weren´t invented yet, the thing was useless and people still didn´t know what time it was despite all that messing about with large rocks. As one of them wittily remarked: the thing was just a waste of time.

They then decided to construct another ring of rocks, within the bigger one, and to each of them they tied one of the guys who were responsable for the stupid thing in the first place. And there they were left to die: the architect, the building contractor, and some of their close family members, because these were cruel times. They also hanged the guy who made the “waste of time” joke, because in those days there was little pacience for that kind of silliness.

From then on, they pretended it just wasn´t there. It was only centuries later that mildly confused truthseekers would come back to it and sing mantras about world peace around it. They couldn´t be more misguided.


One thought on “The truth about Stonehenge.

  1. Simplemente: ME PARTO. Muy bueno. ¡No lo dejes! Podrías mencionar algo sobre la rueda. Habría facilitado el traslado de las agujas 😀
    Por cierto, tengo entendido que los mayas conocían la rueda pero sólo la usaban en juguetes. Podrías escribir algo sobre eso, si te inspiras…


    Tu callejera

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