Invisible Man

Some days are worse than others. Bad weather days are almost always bad. And don´t tell me why I don´t like Mondays, because I already know.

Of course, it took me a while to figure it out. Why do people bump into me all the time? Why do people not get out-of-the-way when I try to pass a doorway or come up the elevator stairs? Why do people on the sidewalk suddenly walk just in front of me without paying attention to me at all? Why do people go before their turn in bakeries, vegetable shops, supermarkets? And in trains, metros, buses too. People go before their turn basically everywhere.

I remember once, I was pushing a motorcycle with a flat tyre over a broad sidewalk, I mean a really broad sidewalk. Six or seven persons could have walked next to each other without a problem. Also, besides me, there were only two other persons on this sidewalk. I was pushing this – very heavy – motorcycle up the road and at least 100 meters ahead, there is this guy talking to a girl. They are talking in a very relaxed way, looking everywhere around them, without a hurry. Two persons who have known each other for a while. They happen to stand in the middle of the sidewalk, which lies just on the same strip where I am trying to push the motor along. Yet they do not move an inch for me. I literally touch the boy´s back while I pass by, and only then he reacts, steps forward quickly and protests. I ask him whether he is blind. He replied that he was too busy talking to the girl.

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Listen carefully, I will only say this once

This is an email I got today from a certain Wayne Murphy (twobroketramps@hotmail.com) with the subject title “ACT FAST”. As far as scam emails go, his name at least is not as wacky as normally in these kind of emails (Susy Quaie, Branndel Wonk, Lilly Blessingwound). Also, it is not written by a complete idiot although apparently the concept of spaces after punctuation marks is not known to him.

Besides, I like its tone and atmosphere of conspiracy, secrecy and low-tech hoodlums on the internet.There is quite a bit of “meet me at the Black Tower when the clock strikes two” to it, and you would almost expect him to mention the painting of the Madonna with the big boobies in the final paragraph.

All in all, I give it a 6 for effort, a 5 for execution, an 8 for the little boy fantasy and a bonus point for the name.

Anyway, here´s the contents of the email:

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Warning! Can be harmful to your health!

Violence against homosexuals and women is still as present as ever. In the Netherlands, which has the name of a being a tolerant and open-minded country, violence against homosexuals is even on the increase. The conclusion is that there is still a lot to be done to educate people that homosexuals should be treated equally as heterosexuals; in fact, the distinction should not be an issue at any time. People are attracted to other people and each can figure out on his or her own when or how or to whom. Likewise, women should be treated equally to men and, again, the distinction should not be an issue at any time.

Education is needed and education begins with children.

In that light, it´s extraordinary that all over the world, in all countries, without exception, children are still taught the exact opposite. Even the most liberal, modern, open-minded countries, that spend so much time, effort and money to educate society about equality for homosexuals and women, at the same allows and openly supports an education that goes straight-out against that.

Of course, I´m referring to religious education.

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